Glossary entry (derived from question below)
English term or phrase:
[In the nucleus are the heavyweights, the protons and neutrons], which manage to make up more than 99.9 percent of an atom’s mas
English answer:
The heavyweights, the protons and neutrons in the nucleus manage to make up more than 99.9 percent of an atom’s mass while ...
Added to glossary by
Michael Powers (PhD)
Jul 13, 2011 12:14
12 yrs ago
English term
is the sentence correct?
English
Science
Physics
Specifically the bracketed part, more specifically - the position of "are" here.
[In the nucleus are the heavyweights, the protons and neutrons], which manage to make up more than 99.9 percent of an atom’s mass while occupying only a trillionth of its volume.
Thank you in advance!
[In the nucleus are the heavyweights, the protons and neutrons], which manage to make up more than 99.9 percent of an atom’s mass while occupying only a trillionth of its volume.
Thank you in advance!
Change log
Jul 24, 2011 14:29: Michael Powers (PhD) Created KOG entry
Jul 24, 2011 14:30: Michael Powers (PhD) changed "Field" from "Other" to "Science" , "Field (specific)" from "General / Conversation / Greetings / Letters" to "Physics"
Responses
+4
6 mins
Selected
Grammatically correct, except redundant "the" and awkward syntatically
Grammatically it is correct; however, it is more common to start with the subject. In this case, that would be the following: The heavyweights, protons and neutrons in the nucleus manage to make up more than 99.9 percent of an atom’s mass while occupying only a trillionth of its volume.
Mike
Mike
Peer comment(s):
agree |
Tony M
10 mins
|
Thank you, Tony - Mike
|
|
agree |
Thayenga
: Elegant editing. :)
11 mins
|
Thank you, Thayenga - Mike
|
|
neutral |
Cilian O'Tuama
: but the protons and neutrons ARE the heavyweights, so the source text is actually more accurate than your edited version
18 mins
|
Thank you for educating me on that, Cilian. That being the case, the second "the" is not redundant and should be repeated as in the original; however, we can still begin the sentence with the subject to make its flow more natural in English.
|
|
agree |
Lara Barnett
: "Heavyweights, protons etc are in the..."
2 hrs
|
Thank you, Lara - Mike
|
|
agree |
David Hal
21 hrs
|
Thank you, Rafael - Mike
|
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
+6
2 mins
Yes, it is correct
It seems fine.
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 2 hrs (2011-07-13 15:13:02 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
Gramatically correct, but I agree that "...manage to make up..." is a slightly awkward expression. I would suggest "...together make up...". It would sound more natural.
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 2 hrs (2011-07-13 15:13:02 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
Gramatically correct, but I agree that "...manage to make up..." is a slightly awkward expression. I would suggest "...together make up...". It would sound more natural.
Peer comment(s):
agree |
Cilian O'Tuama
22 mins
|
Thanks, Cilian!
|
|
agree |
Noni Gilbert Riley
1 hr
|
Thanks, Noni!
|
|
agree |
airmailrpl
: It seems fine.
1 hr
|
Thanks, airmailrpl!
|
|
agree |
Simon Mac
3 hrs
|
Thank you, yx37029!
|
|
agree |
Sheila Wilson
: It could be improved but it was OK
3 hrs
|
Thanks, Sheila! That´s what I thought too...
|
|
agree |
Thuy-PTT (X)
18 hrs
|
Discussion
Wouldn't it be cleaner simply to write "which make up more than....."?